An independent candidacy · Jurisdiction to be confirmed
Mayor of the city. The city is not named on this website and will not be. What matters is the office, and the readiness to hold it.
Pro-cat. Pro-bike-lane. Otherwise reachable.
Official campaign portrait · 2026
A steady hand on matters of moderate importance
The platform
Ranked by priority, and the ranking is not decorative. Item one is non-negotiable. Items two through five are, broadly, about streets.
A cat that appears on your porch has, in every meaningful sense, selected you. This administration will not interrogate that arrangement. Outdoor cats will be counted in the census. Indoor cats will be counted twice, as they are home more.
A stripe of paint is not infrastructure. It is a suggestion, painted. We will build lanes with something solid between the rider and the traffic, and then — this is the part everyone skips — we will connect them to each other.
Not on the residential streets, and not on the main road either, and not on the stretch where everyone agrees the limit is too low. We will narrow what can be narrowed and plant what can be planted, and we will park the trailer that displays your speed back at you — not to ticket, but to embarrass, which works better and costs less.
There is no version of this in which the wrapper had to go out the window. The car has a floor. We will put bins where people already drop things and empty them before they overflow, and we will stop pretending the problem is a shortage of signs asking politely.
A sidewalk that ends in grass is a sentence without a period. We will finish them one block at a time, beginning with the block that complains the most, which is the honest way these things are already prioritized.
For the record
Published in full, unprompted, which no one asked for and which is itself a kind of platform.
Endorsements
Collected over several months. None were paid for, which is evident.
He has fed me twice. That is two more times than the incumbent.DirtA cat. Not his cat.
[Gestured at the yard sign. Then at the crowd. Then back at the yard sign. Held it there.]HooperPistons mascot. A horse. Did not speak, and does not.
I thought this was for the pool committee. But sure.Someone who was handed a flyerDid not stop walking
Materials
Visibility wins races. This is understood.
Yard signs are not being printed. If you would like one, you are welcome to print this page and place it in your yard, at your own expense and at your own risk. The campaign will not be replacing it when it rains.